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Wake-Up, Reset, and Grow into the “New Normal”

By August 20, 2020Coaches, Leaders

Wake-Up, Reset, and Grow into the “New Normal”

By Jody Béke

 

The COVID-19 pandemic has been a personal wake-up opportunity. Time and activities paused. The focus shifted to you and family, and what you need to work on personally (in yourself) has come to the surface. As Charlene Belitz and Meg Lundstrom have said:

“Think of the outer environment as a mirror of your inner environment.

When you see something on the outside, such as an event or situation,

look inside for the reflections, the parallel, the connection.”

Are you feeling misaligned, anxious, or resistant? Are you having trouble moving forward? Perhaps it is time for a “Transition Reset” to move forward.

People who are choosing to do Transition Resets, and shifting and changing themselves, are moving forward to the “new normal” within themselves and the world.

COVID brought about abrupt change: absurd, humbling, non-optional, and unpredictable. COVID has catapulted us into a liminal space, which is an in-between time, a time of uncertainty and not knowing.

We are in liminality during any major change when our old ways of looking at the world and ourselves does not work anymore. I think one reason this moment is so unsettling is that we intuitively know that the old world is dying, yet we have no idea what our new world will look like when we emerge from isolation.

Richard Rohr proposed that in this global pandemic we are navigating a collective liminal space. Liminality, he writes, “keeps one in an ongoing state of shadowboxing instead of ego-confirmation, struggling with the hidden side of things, and calling normalcy into creative question.”

Important transitions take time. You experience an in-between time when you have left behind old ways of being, beliefs and dreams, and have not yet moved into the new normal.

Western culture has a fear of the in-between time because of our speedy, product-not-process orientation. This way of thinking and being contrasts indigenous cultures, which mark these times as a rite of passage. Typically, there are three stages in transition: Severance, Wilderness and Rebirth.

Severance is the first stage of transition. This stage is about severing the old self, the old ways of living, working, and/or relating. Severance is often marked by an ending that is chosen or planned. Or alternatively, the ending can be unchosen or catastrophic, as is the case of COVID entering the world.

Wilderness, the stage we are navigating now, is the second stage of transition. The term “Wilderness” refers to uncharted territory, returning to wildness and new beginnings. This stage is considered the most sacred as it is a time during which profound transformation takes place and individuals are stripped of their old “self” and former roles. Wilderness is the longest stage of transition.

Typical signs of being in the Wilderness are disorientation and confusion with identity; grief; questioning old beliefs, assumptions, values and dreams; awareness of the presence of Spirit; non-ordinary states of consciousness; thoughts of death; and feelings of impatience, despair, and fatigue. This stage is characteristic of tests and trials designed to wear down the old self and open an individual to deeper levels of soul connection.

What tests and trials are you experiencing to wear down the parts of your old version of yourself?

During enormous change and uncertainty in this stage, resistance is both a natural reaction and a type of block. Resistance can show up inadvertently or unconsciously, this is typically stemming from fear. People have a primal response to fear just as animals do. As Harper West stated, our fear responses include:

      • Avoid is to scan for trouble and avoid danger if possible.
      • Flight is to be submissive or retreat.
      • Fight is to be dominant or attack.
      • Freeze is to immobilize or be paralyzed in fear.
      • Fold is to withdraw due to a feeling of helplessness or panic attacks.

I have developed a Transition Reset Coaching process for leaders who are ready to make a shift or change in their career or work, yet they have a block (or several) and are not able to move forward with the next steps in their plans. I see each person as a leader, therefore every person who is in a career or work transition qualifies for this Transition Reset process. The ideal clients are open-minded, resilient, self-aware, agile leaders who are ready to make a shift.

The Transition Reset Coaching process includes one pre-session step and five coaching sessions, which are: completing a Discovery Questionnaire, shifting a primary fear and perhaps a secondary fear, recognizing and eliminating anxiety(ies), shifting core belief(s) and overcoming a mindset to successfully take the next steps forward in your transition.

In my plan to transition clients, I utilize the Leadership Circle Profile (LCP) as a development step in their growth. Often leaders might feel too busy, or the organization may be in chaos, or they may have insufficient resources or not enough energy. The Transition Reset process can help them clear the block(s) and prepare the leader for the Leadership Circle Profile.

Every client has experienced a breakthrough in their internal operating system after receiving a debrief and coaching on their LCP. The leader can clearly see what beliefs, assumptions and mindsets need to change, and what is required to help them to transition toward living their inspired vision. The realignment and coaching process helps clear any blocks.

How do you know if you may need a Transition Reset? If one of the criteria below rings true, you may need a Transition Reset.

      1. You are experiencing one or two significant fears which are preventing you from taking the next steps to move forward with your transition.
      2. You are not able to shift a significant anxiety.
      3. You have some resistance and are not moving forward to achieve your goals.
      4. You are experiencing a misalignment with your beliefs and/or values.
      5. You are feeling stuck and unable to move forward to the next steps in your transition.

The Transition Reset is a catalyst for your realignment. This process creates awareness, reveals blocks and shifts self, which makes you ready for the next steps in your growth. The Transition Reset can inform what is revealed in the LCP, especially the Reactive Tendencies. The Transition Reset process can be applied when working with the Leadership Circle Profile data and feedback to create awareness, action plans and provide you with other tools to make a shift.

COVID has amplified what we need to work on personally and is mirroring what we need to focus on for our development. Do you need to wake up? Reset? Or grow? Now that you have read this through thinking of yourself. I invite you to re-read it and consider who else may benefit from the Transition Reset process. The Transition Reset is an opportunity to move forward to a new normal within yourself and the world.

 

 

Jody’s Béke’s professional brand is “Revealing the Leader Within©.” Jody makes a difference by inspiring and empowering leadership. Her expertise lies in the areas of talent development, leadership effectiveness, business effectiveness, career and work transitions, and contributing to a number of different communities. Jody is passionate about making meaningful things happen for leaders, teams, and communities.

She has worked in partnership as both an External and an Internal Consultant/Employee, Coach, Facilitator and Community Builder, and is interested in joining an organization in a full-time leadership role. Jody holds a Master of Arts in Applied Behavioral Science, in Leadership, a Certified Professional Co-Active Coach credential, and a Professional Certified Coach credential.

Jody’s professional experience spans the public and private sector in the following key roles: Learning Program Designer, Facilitator of Management/Leadership Programs, Vice-President – Career Solutions and Transition, Human Resources Manager, Senior Career Transition Associate, Internal and External Leadership/Organizational Development Consultant and Nominations Chair for Coaching Awards for International Coaching Federation Vancouver. If you would like to get in touch with Jody, you can connect with her at www.jodybeke.com, or on LinkedIn.

 

Jody Béke

Author Jody Béke

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Join the discussion 8 Comments

  • Milena says:

    Thank you for this inspiring article Jody, I particularly like the three stages of transition, perhaps because they resonate a lot with me right now. Keep up the good work, is much needed now!

  • Margaret Mills says:

    Accurate depiction of where we are at this point in history. As leaders we need to be able to do our own reset if we are to help others.
    Thanks for offering to support leaders to do and be their best.

    • Jody Béke says:

      Thanks Margaret. I appreciate you sharing these wise perspectives. I find that leaders often don’t know how to do a complete reset to shift and change themselves, and they need assistance from a leader who is trained to lead this process.

  • Bob Anderson says:

    Jody, thank you for this insightful article. As Picasso said, “Every act of creation is first an act of destruction.” In the Hindu faith, there are three Gods: Brahma creates the universe, Vishnu preserves the universe, and Shiva destroys the universe. It has only been recently that I have begun to understand the utter necessity of the destroying force. The very physics of evolution depend on destruction. New, more complex forms emerge from the constituent of what priorly existed. We are living in a time of ending. The old order is dying. Normal is destroying us. COVID offers us an opportunity to, as you say, awaken to what needs to die, be reset, go through metamorphosis, and be at the effect of transformative forces. I love your focus on discerning what want to die and how you walk with people in that liminal space where we don’t yet know what wants to emerge. Thank you for reminding us that we must now, more than ever, let ourselves be disrupted. We are all complicit in a normal we must not go back to.

    • Jody Béke says:

      Bob, thank you for sharing in a direct way that we are all complicit in a normal we must not go back to. I appreciated how you shared about the natural cycle in the Hindu faith of destruction, preservation and creation. I loved your honest sharing that only recently you have begun to understand the utter necessity of the destroying force. I also loved how you painted a true picture of our current individual and collective reality. We have only one choice as you shared, to be disrupted and to awaken and allow what wants to die, to die; so we can transform. I am really grateful to hear your wisdom, thank you.

  • Michael OConnor says:

    Thank you Jody for this thoughtful perspective. I personally experienced the “Wilderness” in the first few weeks of the COVID19 realities. I was feeling Passive (unsure what to do, somehow waiting for more information….). It was quite unsettling, especially as this is not my typical “go to” Reactive Tendency. We are all a work in progress! Thank you for sharing your insights.

    • Jody Béke says:

      Thank you Mike for being vulnerable and sharing your personal experience in the Wilderness at the start of COVID-19. In feeling Passive you may have been experiencing some disorientation through the uncertainty and not trusting yourself fully? I love your point, “We are all a work in progress” because it gives each of us a sense of freedom to continue to evolve and transition and transform into the ‘new version’ of ourselves being called forth.

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