“You can have it all, but not at the same time.” My grandmother didn’t know how to read, but she always had the best Spanish sayings for various situations. Wisdom from more experienced individuals is priceless when you’re feeling stuck. In certain cultures, “the Elders” are highly respected for this very reason–they can share decades of wisdom and insights in just a few words.
I recall a day when I felt like I was giving only 60% to various tasks, including personal commitments and being a role model for my child. I paused and realized it’s impossible to give 100% to everything in my life if my total energy is just 100%. Dividing my energy the way I had been meant spreading myself too thin.
Is this a tragic situation? I don’t think so. We must choose to prioritise making our time and presence meaningful. But still, how do we strategize success and well-being? How do we avoid going crazy trying to be everywhere, as our best selves, at the same time, in multiple areas?
Consider this scenario: eating a slice of your favourite cake while snorkelling in the Bahamas, receiving a premium massage, and being on a crucial Zoom call. It’s unlikely you could fully appreciate each activity simultaneously. Hence, why would you attempt it? So, how do we manage to balance our personal and professional lives without losing our sanity?
The key lies in compromising on our priorities.
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Self-Reflection and Prioritisation
Prioritise needs over wants. Ensure essentials like rent, food, and safety are covered, then consider your desires. If unsure, focus on three specific wants, helping you allocate your time and energy effectively. By doing this, you’ll start to identify the sections of your time and effectively split up your “energy pie.”
For example, you may realise that your family, your career, and your health are your top three priorities, and that you need to devote more attention to them than to other less important aspects of your life. This will help you set boundaries and make decisions that align with those values and goals.
Time Management and the Power of NO
This one is easier for some and very difficult for others. Personally, it took me years to learn how to say “No.” Remember that when you are saying “Yes” to everything, you are dividing your energy pie and saying “No” to your dreams and top priorities. You cannot be everything to everyone else and also be everything you need to be for yourself. Understand this fully before committing to other tasks and projects.
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Nurture Your Health Bank
When attempting to do everything all the time, it’s inevitable that you will burn out. It’s just a matter of time before your body forces you to stop. Work with your body and anticipate its’ needs just as you would any other priority. It’s a good idea to regularly go back to your list of physical needs, such as:
- Healthy Meals: Sometimes a quick burrito and sugary snack to get through your day is okay, but these options shouldn’t be your go-to. Your body isn’t designed to process junk food regularly and still work at its peak effectiveness. Meal prep if you’re short on time during the week and focus on nourishment.
- Decent Sleep: Arianna Huffington often talks about the importance of sleep in her life. She leaves her phone out of her room, lowers the blinds for total darkness, goes to bed early, and wakes up early. Be like Arianna. Sleep is when your body re-energizes, detoxifies, and prepares you for the next day’s challenges.
- Movement: Notice I didn’t say exercise. Move! If you don’t have time for the gym or dislike sports, walk to work, take the stairs, or prioritize a yoga session. Your body was created to take you places, and you won’t get there by sitting all day.
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The Power of Delegation
Let go of micromanaging tendencies and ask for help. Sometimes running errands or completing work projects can be done without your input. This may require extra energy initially while the other person learns your expectations, but eventually, they can become autonomous. Rely on others to take things off your plate and focus on your top priorities. That’s sustainable thinking about life-work balance. Remember, you can have it all but not at the same time (and again, why would you?).
The Art of Having Fun
We’ve forgotten how fun it was to simply run, play, or do something just for the sake of it, with no goals. The art of having fun is about dedicating your attention, energy, and effort to being fully present in something you enjoy. What are you doing to honour this in your life? For me, it’s reading. For my husband, it’s gardening. For my son, it’s ninja turtle fights with his toys. Some may have forgotten how to find fun things they enjoy. It’s meeting friends for a night out, taking a new jujitsu class, or attending a concert by yourself. What entices you? What calls you to lose yourself for a while, without checking the time or grabbing your phone? Honor that.
Maria Lorenzo is a guest contributor to The Leadership Circle. You can learn more about Maria’s work by visiting her LinkedIn profile.
Your articles never fail to captivate me. Each one is a testament to your expertise and dedication to your craft. Thank you for sharing your wisdom with the world.
“Absolutely phenomenal work! The way you’ve broken down this complex topic while maintaining depth is impressive. Your expertise and research quality are evident throughout.”
“Absolutely phenomenal work! The way you’ve broken down this complex topic while maintaining depth is impressive. Your expertise and research quality are evident throughout.”
This post has really given me something to think about—thank you!